Once upon a time, there was no fashion crime worse than the sin of wearing ugly shoes. Celebrities and fashionistas would rather be seen in a second-hand Matalan fleece than in clunky footwear inspired by early 90s “dad attire”. Cast your mind back to Carrie Bradshaw’s shoe collection and you’ll appreciate the vital importance of a beautiful shoe. A gorgeous piece of footwear was once a thing to lust after, an aesthetic height to aspire to. A tasteless shoe selection, on the other hand, was punishable with expulsion from the fashion world.
But in 2018 the rules changed.
Last year, ugly shoes clomped and stomped their way into the spotlight and enjoyed a frightening fashion moment. Thick soles, orthopaedic styling, 90s dad designs and tasteless, clashing accessories turned the catwalks into a parade of hideous trainers. While off-beat accessories have enjoyed moments of fashion-ability in the past (hipster granny glasses, anyone?), these footwear monstrosities went far beyond quirky. They were hideous. So hideous in fact, that their wearers would have been far better off throwing them into the river and replacing them with a nice cosy pair of Corgi socks instead.
Here are some of the worst offenders we hope to see the back of in 2019...
2018 was the year that “sock sneakers” slouched onto the scene. These designs incorporated a soft, sock-like upper into their design, which rose just past the ankle. We don’t know what’s wrong with wearing a decent pair of socks with a stylish pair of trainers - but we do know that combining the two looks seriously weird. This look gives has a creepy, medical vibe... Just us?
Esteemed fashion houses were the main offenders when it came to monsterous shoes in 2018. From Prada’s clumpy Cloudburst collection which included designs apparently made for inflatable space ballerinas, to Louis Vuitton’s collection which looked like prototype props from an 80s sci-fi movie; it was all nightmarishly bad.
2018’s sneakers weren’t just grotesquely proportioned, many pairs were also bedazzled and bejewelled with bafflingly bad bling. Chunky strands of faux antique jewels criss-crossed the footwear equivalent of a military all-terrain vehicle in a style which would have looked at home on Mr T alone. These are some seriously ugly shoes.
Last year’s vogue for transparent footwear has to be the ultimate argument for a toasty pair of well-made socks we’ve ever seen. Completely unforgiving, these plastic eyesores reveal every inch of foot in its seemingly clingflim-wrapped glory. Squeezed arches, overhanging toes, dodgy calluses; all displayed for the world to enjoy. Not only did these contraptions look unflattering to all but the prettiest of pinkies, they were also reportedly incredibly uncomfortable. For the sake of humanity, we pray that 2019 won’t mean more of the same...
Say no to hideous avant garde footwear and yes to stylish, sensible socks. Order your cosy Corgis in our online store today.